...pALaKa...

CLOSURE

sa wakas, matapos ang ilang taon, naging malinaw din ang lahat!

minsan, may mga tao sa buhay natin na akala natin ay nakalimutan na tayo.  kaya hindi na rin natin sila iniisip pa.  tapos magugulat ka na lang, pag nagkita kayo o nagkausap bigla, marami pala silang gustong itanong.  mga tanong na naiwan na lang sa buhangin ng kahapon.  natabunan.  at sa tinagal ng panahon, nais din pala nilang mabigyan ng linaw ang lahat.  tulad natin.

at ngayon nabigyan na nga ng linaw ang lahat.

ang sarap sa pakiramdam.  parang tinik na natanggal sa isipan.  parang mabigat na bagaheng nawala sa katawan.

ang saya!

salamat! ;D

PDA = PARA SA MGA PANGIT LANG

minsan ka na bang nasabihang "ang PDA nyo ng bf/gf mo!" at sa tono ng pananalita nila e sila pa itong naiinsulto?  minsan ka na bang nasabihan na "wag nga kayong PDA!"?  pwes, ngayon, pag may nagsabi ulit sa inyo n'yan, eto ang sabihin mo:

"excuse me!  PDA is only for ugly couples."

(note: this is only applicable if you and your significant other are OBJECTIVELY good-looking people.)

ang terminong PDA o public display of arousal este affection ay ibinabansag sa mga magkasintahang grabe kung magyakapan as publiko o kaya'y nakakakitaan ng mga mushy actions sa harap ng madla.  isang halimbawa ay ang mag-kiss in public.  yun ding akbayan ay PDA na sa mata ng iba.  masakit daw sa mata.  nakakadiri raw.

pero kung ating titignang mabuti, nakakadiri nga ba?  masakit nga ba sa mata?  o kaya lang naman nasabing masakit sa mata ay dahil may mga taong gumagawa ng ganito nang hindi naaayon sa lugar, sirkumstansiya at itsura?

simulan natin sa lugar.  dito talaga walang kawala.  kumbaga dapat delikadesa ang pairalin dito.  pag nasa simbahan ka ba at nagsisimba ay tama bang maglampungan kayo ng kasintahan mo?  siyempre hindi.  dito e pwede tayong magbansag ng PDA.  pero paano kung yung lugar e public place gaya ng mall or park?  ah diyan papasok ang sirkumstansiya.  halimbawa binomba yung mall, naaayon bang mag-halikan kayo?  hindi siyempre.  kaya natatawag na PDA.  e paano kung valentine's day?  ah d'yan papasok ang itsura.

kung makikita mo si brad pitt at angelina jolie na naghalikan sa labi (smack lang) in public, ano ang mararamdaman mo?  malamang masi-sweet-an ka.  or matutuwa.  or mapapasabi ng wow.  kahit ano pa ang maramdaman mo, hindi mo mararamdaman ang pandidiri.  pag nakakita ka ng isang gwapong lalaki, hunk ang dating tapos may nakapalupot sa kanyang babae, sobrang ganda, sexy, parang model, sasakit ba ang mata mo?  hindi di ba?  parang wala lang.  eto naman.  imagine-in mo: naglalakad ka sa mall.  tapos may masasalubong kang magkasintahan.  yung isa mukhang paa, yung isa mukhang sawa.  tapos nakita mong nagyayakapan sila at nag-kiss pa.  matutuwa ka kaya sa nakita mo?  baka nga masabi mo pang "ano ba 'yan ang PDA naman?!"  o sige gawin nating medyo mature.  tutal open minded ka naman (siguro).  pag magtalik sina antonio banderas at salma hayek sa harap mo (parang desperado scene ah), mandidiri ka ba?  o sige subukan mong panoorin magtalik si diego at yung babaeng ulikba sa bubble gang?  gaganahan ka ba?  pucha maisip nga lang nakakadiri na e yun pa kayang makita.

so ano ang punto ko?  eto: may mga bagay, aksyon o gawain na may inaayunang tao.  may binabagayan.  ang pagpapakita ng affection sa madla ay hindi masama.  pero dapat iayon ito sa lugar, sirkumstansiya, at higit sa lahat sa itsura.  natatawag lang na pangit ang isang bagay o gawain pag ang gumawa ay yung hindi dapat gumawa nung bagay na iyon.

tandaan: lahat ng tao may itsura, pangit nga lang yung iba.

"wala namang taong sobrang ganda eh.  meron lang sobrang pangit." - imelda marcos

"ang tunay na kagandahan ay wala sa panlabas na kaanyuan.  nasa loob yan." - motto ng mga pangit

beauty is not really in the eye of the beholder.  because beauty is an objective part of reality.  one cannot be subjective when asked to judge a very simple objective truth.  beauty is judged objectively and cannot be otherwise.

;D

STUPID LRT PASSENGERS

it's the first day of the week and i already experienced seeing stupidity.

my usual trip going to the office is riding the lrt (line 1, baclaran-monumento line).  so from the gate of our house, i would take a tricycle going out of the subdivision.  then a jeepney going to lrt.  then ride the lrt upto central terminal station.  then take jeepney once again going to san sebastian.  and finally, walk from there to mendiola.

so what happened this morning?

it's like this. i already arrived at the baclaran station.  the guard checked my bag.  then i inserted my ticket already at the "entrance."  from there, one has to climb the stairs to go to the platform.  it's about 20-30 steps.  we all know that the train would sound a warning buzzer before closing the door.  but if you ask me, i think they go the same time.  when the buzzer sounds, the doors immediately close.  okay so after i entered through that machine, i started my way up.  of course there were other people going the same way.  when i was on the second step, the buzzer sounded already (which meant that there was already a train and was about to leave).  to my surprise, the people who were just two steps ahead of me, and those who entered after me, started running to catch up!!!!!  and i just said, "how stupid these people are!  so stupid!"

for those people, let me say this: ANG TATANGA NINYO!!!!  GRABE!!!!  SOOOOBRA!!!!  bakit akala n'yo ba kayo si flash para umabot sa loob ng tren sa loob lang ng tatlong segundo???  wahahahahaha!  call me mean or whatever.  i don't care.  at least i'm not so stupid to waste my energy to run up a 20-step staircase and be on top in 3 seconds.

what's happening to our society?

;D

WAS I BEING CHILDISH

yesterday i checked baby's friendster and saw a pending comment from one of her friends.  nothing's much in it.  but to be honest, i got "furious" or should i say jealous.  well, actually, i couldn't really understand what i felt.  all i know is that i felt something and that feeling is not positive.  and to make things worse, i acted like a jerk.  so childish.  yep.  really childish.

i let her know.  well of course.  she's my girlfriend.  and my wife-to-be, i hope.  a wife has to know what's going on in her husband's mind.  in our case, my girlfriend has to know (i always believe that honesty, openness and transparency are necessary in a relationship).

of course, as expected, she got worried.  she thought there's a problem between us.  so to make her not worry, i agreed to come on our friend's debut celebration when hipag (ara) told me to.

immediately after i arrived, she asked, "okay ba tayo?"  and i said, "yes baby we're okay.  i'm not mad at you.  i just didn't like what i read.  and it's okay.  i'm being childish, acting so immaturely.  and i know that.  i realized that when i called you."

now here's my question: a person acting childishly or immaturely, is not actually aware that he's acting as such.  so if i realized that i was being childish, does that make me not childish anymore?

just a thought. ;D

GETTING USED WITHOUT YOU

i have this girl friend who asked me if it's normal that she and boyfriend seldom see each other.  i said it really depends on the setup.  as long as the communication is open, there should be no problem, i added.  however, she told me that they also seldom send text messages to each other.

"but do you still love him?" i asked.

"yes," she answered.

"does he still love you?"

"i guess."

"is he the one who said that you should seldom see each other?"

"not really.  actually it's me who's always been busy.  if you were him, what and how would you feel?"

i had to be honest to her.  so i said this: "actually at first it would be hard.  but then you know me.   i grew up in the seminary.  one thing the seminary taught me is how to adapt to changes.  in time, i guess, i'd get used to it.  but that's the bad part.  you know it's okay for us to let our loved ones miss us.  but it should not reach the point that they'd get used to living without us.  for this could lead to falling out of love.  you know the saying...'absence makes the heart grow fonder'...and there's another one: 'distance makes the heart grow apart.'  talk to him.  ask him if he's starting to get used to living without you.  just talk.  ask him everything.  i'm sure he'll be totally honest with you."

my friend just kept quiet.  and i just stared at the clouds.

WIKANG ATIN

isang gabi magkausap kami ng kapatid ko.  pinag-usapan namin kung gaano kami kamangha sa mga bansang tulad ng hapon at india.  pati tsina.

mahilig akong makinig ng mga kantang gawa ng mga hapon.  hindi ko alam kung bakit pero manghang-mangha ako sa mga kanta nila.

naisip ko lang, bakit sa bansang hapon, mas sikat ang mga kantang gawa ng mga lokal na artista nila kaysa mga banyaga?

mahilig din akong manood ng mga seryeng gawa ng hapon.  j-dorama ang tawag dito.  natatawa ako sa tuwing maririnig ko silang magsalita sa wikang inggles.  kapansin-pansing hirap na hirap sila.  ang titigas ng dila.

naisip ko ulit, bakit hindi "big deal" sa mga hapon kung hindi sila marunong masyadong mag-inggles?

bakit sa mga bansang tulad ng hapon, vietnam, tsina, singapore, malaysia, indonesia at iba pang bansa sa asya ay hindi kahalagahan ang matutong magsalita sa wikang inggles?  kahit ang mga espanyol ay hindi rin gaanong katatas magsalita ng inggles.  ang iba pa nga ay hindi marunong umintindi ng inggles.  kahit mga aleman.  pero ni minsan ay hindi sila hinamak ng ibang bansa o kahit ng mismong kababayan nila.  pero bakit dito sa ating bansa ay kabaligtaran?  bobo ang kadalasang tingin sa mga hindi masyadong marunong mag inggles.  pag hindi ka marunong mag inggles, wala kang lugar sa lipunan.  ang mga kalahok sa miss universe na nangangailangan ng "interpreter" ay hindi kinakikitaan ng kakulangan.  pero subukan ng isang pinoy na magpatawag na "interpreter" at pagtatawanan siya unang-una na ng kanyang mga kababayan.  tsk.

maraming mga magulang ngayon ang tinuturuan nang mag inggles ang kanilang mga anak sa murang edad pa lang.  may kilala akong sa gulang na apat pa lang ay hindi na marunong managalog.  sa una ay nakakamangha.  pero sa huli hindi.  bakit?  kasi lalaki ang batang mangmang at inutil sa sarili niyang wika.  ano pa't tinawag kang pilipino kung hindi ka marunong magsalita ng filipino?

may mga nagsasabing ang pagka-pilipino ay hindi raw nakikita sa wika.  nasa kultura raw 'yan.  nasa ginagawa.  nasa ugali.  tanong: labas ba sa kultura ng isang bansa na wika nito?  pag nakarinig ka ng mga salitang "sou desu ka," "arigatou," at "sayonara," alam mong ito'y galing sa hapon.  ang mga salitang "ni haw ma" at "wo ai ni" ay galing naman sa tsina.  samakatuwid, wika ang nagbibigay sa pagkakakilanlan ng isang bansa.  maaari ba nating tawagin ang mga sarili nating pilipino at isasapuwera ang wikang filipino?

"ang hindi magmahal sa sariling wika ay masahol pa sa malansang isda." - dr. jose rizal.

ano na ang nangyari sa mga kataga niyang ito?

wala na.  hindi na epektibo. 

nasaan na ang ating pagka-pilipino?

ikaw lang ang makakasagot n'yan kapatid.

PAANO PAG UMALIS SIYA?

does long distance relationship really work?  is love enough to keep it burning?  or does presence really have a big factor in keeping it last?

i have been "troubled" by these thoughts ever since a friend of mine told me his problem late last night.

let's call my friend gel and his girl, marcy.

gel learned that marcy's uncle has the desire of taking her to florida once she passed the boards.  marcy is a nursing graduate who just took the nursing licensure exams last month.  the two of them have been together for 4 years now and counting.  marcy's a year younger than he.

so what's his problem?

actually, gel and i share something in common: we don't believe in long distance relationship.  okay.  maybe "belief" shouldn't be the word.  let's say, rather, that we can't handle a long-distance relationship.  so that's his problem.

"i told her kasi that if she goes abroad, break kami kasi nga di ko talaga kaya," he told me (i heard this before ;])

"and what did she say?" your resident dr.love asked.

"she said she's having 2nd thoughts on us.  bakit pa raw kailangan mag-invest kung alam din naman pala naming pag may nag abroad e maghihiwalay?  di raw niya ako makitaan ng tapang na ipaglaban relationship namin.  yun nga matagal na rin daw kami.  kumbaga nasa ibang level na pagsasama namin.  di raw ba pwedeng kayanin?  i am confused and hurting tol."

"obviously."

"any advice?"

"well," i started.  "i can't really give you an advice on that.  pareho tayo eh.  ako rin sa sarili ko alam kong hindi ko kaya yung ganun.  but why not try?  how about marrying her first?"

"baliw ka ba?  for what?  para talian ko siya?"

"kinda....?  i mean, ganito kasi...ako kasi i believe kung magkasintahan pa lang and one has to leave for abroad, break...kasi there'll be no growth...remember pao and her gf?  you yourself those two won't last for five years.  di ba nga kasi si pao five years pa bago ulit bumalik dito.  the problem with long distance is you tend to hold on something that is so unclear.  pero kung mag-asawa na kayo, ibang usapan.  you will really hold on to that.  yung kahit may makilala kayong iba, maliit na lang yung possibility na ma-fall kayo dun kasi una nyong iisipin e yung marriage nyo.  unlike pag mag nobyo/nobya pa lang.  pwede kayong bumitaw anytime.  pero pag mag-asawa e di ganun kadaling bumitaw.  but, here's the big but...if you'll marry just because you wanna be sure you'll have her back, that's not good also.  yung sinasabi kong mag-asawa na set-up e pag matagal na kayong kasal bago pa man umalis asawa mo.  nage-gets mo ba?"

he just nodded.

i continued, "you know i have already asked different people on that issue.  most men can't.  some can.  some women can't too but others can.  i think it all depends on the person.  and on the couple also.  nasa inyo pare.  meet halfway.  compromise.  sacrifice.  the usual stuff.  but this time, on a bigger scale."

silence.  a very long one.

"tol," finally he spoke.  "di naman sa di ko maipaglaban relasyon namin.  i even told her that i was wrong in saying na di ako makikialam kung sakaling i-petition siya ng tito niya."

"sinabi mo yun?!  baka!"

"bakajanai yo!  kaya nga binawi ko e.  kasi napagtanto ko na mali.  napagtanto ko na makikialam ako kahit magalit pa ng iba.  pero paano kung gusto niya talaga?  ano magagawa ng tapang ko kung yung pinaglalaban ko mismo ang may gustong umalis?"

"sinabi niya ba talagang gusto niya?"

"well, she told me this: 'di ko alam.  magulo isip ko.  ang daming risks.  before i met you, buo na ang desisyon ko to take up nursing tapos abroad.  ngayon magulo...ayoko pa isipin o magbitiw ng salita kahit sa iyo o kanino...'  those were her exact words.  tumatak talaga sa isip ko yung mga yun."

"naku pare mahirap yan.  uhm, to be safe, just wait.  yun na lang magagawa mo.  limited ang options mo eh.  parang ako.  so tignan natin.  then come back."

"tol do i still have the time?"

"wakaranai.  but for now we'll wait while studying the possible options."

"like what?"

"like, for example, uhm...go with her...?

"pare alam mong wala akong balak magtrabaho abroad...parang ikaw.  alam mo sa sarili mo na di ka liligaya dun."

"ay oo nga pala.  ahahaha.  e kaya nga compromise eh.  ako kasi if ever Baby decides to work abroad, and talagang gusto niya, at di ko siya mapipigilan, i'm gonna try to convince her to work, let's say, to singapore.  and i'll go with her there.  well, for now yun pa lang naiisip ko.  matagal pa naman kasi bago siya maging nurse.  marami pa pwede mangyari.  baka mamaya gumanda na ekonomiya rito at hindi na kailanganin ang magtrabaho sa ibang bansa di ba?  so ayun."

"buti ka pa may oras.  e ako?"

"kaya nga iisipin natin mga options bago pa tuluyang mawala ang oras eh."

so we ended up thinking of the options.  until now we haven't come up with a good one.  but i have to end my story here.

jaa ne?

WHAT WENT WRONG???

it's complicated.  i don't know want went wrong.

bakit ba kung kailan luminaw na ang lahat sa iyo e bigla na lamang ito lalabo?

bakit kung kailan ayos na e gugulo pa?

ang akala mong perpekto, akala lang pala.

hindi ko mawari.  hindi ko matanto.  hindi ko maintindihan.  kahit ano'ng gawin ko, kahit ano'ng pagbubukas sa isip at mata ko ang gawin ko, sadyang hindi ko makita o mawari.

bakit?

ano'ng nangyari?

labo.

ang lungkot.

i'm down.

5TH MONTHSARY

what is the best way to start your day?  it's having a breakfast with your girlfriend on the occasion of your monthsary.

that was how i started my week.

last monday, may 28, after i arrived from tuguegarao, i immediately went to baby's place.  it was already planned that i would take my bath there and then we'd have breakfast together.  on that very day also, we celebrated our 5th monthsary.

weeks ago, i was thinking of how to make this day special aside from having breakfast together.  i was planning of buying her something but a more important thing came that squeezed money out of my wallet.  so i was not able to buy her anything.  nakakahiya pa kasi umutang pa ako ng pang-breakfast.  i am really a good for nothing boyfriend.

anyway, we ate at mcdonald's (a.h. lacson).  then we walked together to ust.  we parted in front of the main building.  i went to work.  she went to osa.

we saw each other again at 6 pm at her place.  i ate dinner, change my clothes, and rested so that i would have enough energy to go home.  the original plan was that i would leave their house by 7.  however, we missed each other so much that i left at 9 pm.

so what did we do for two hours and a half?  aside from talking and exchanging sweet nothings, we just sat at the sofa cuddling and hugging each other.  since i was so tired, she let me lie down on her lap.  my sweet baby kept brushing my hair.  then she removed every whiteheads and blackheads she saw on my face.  sounds yuck but for me, it was one of the sweetest thing a girl can do for her guy.  i was really touched.  then she continued brushing my hair.  she even massaged my head.  right there and then, i fell asleep.  it was only for a moment.  but it felt heaven sleeping on the lap my baby.

what i thought would be an ordinary day turned out to be an extra-ordinary one.  sometimes, it only takes a couple of love mixed with some sweetness to turn an ordinary day into something memorable.  with my baby, our fifth monthsary turned to be great...or rather, magical!

"i" love "u" ;)

TUGUEGARAO: A Weekend Adventure

i had a very tiring but wonderful and unforgettable weekend (may 26-27).

that story goes like this.

it was fr. rannie's (my boss) silver sacerdotal anniversary.  meaning he'a already 25 years in the priesthood.  the exact date was may 20.  but since he was in malaysia that time, the celebration was moved to may 27, which coincides with his mom's birthday.

since a silver anniversary only comes once in a lifetime, i decided to go and celebrate with him.  and last saturday, i departed.

the bus was scheduled to leave at 10:15 in the evening.  kuya al instructed me to be at the bus station before 10.  i was already at florida bus terminal by 9:15.  (take note: i still went to the office from 8-12 then went to my gf's place to kill the time).  it was raining.  and i looked so pitiful being there with nobody to talk with.  and the worse thing is they are all talking in ilocano or ybanag.  good thing i know a little ilocano.

quarter to ten, still no sign of kuya al.  i am getting nervous.  my ticket's with him.  then my phone rang.  "ilaw asan ka na?"

"andito na ako!  ikaw asan ka na?"

"dito na!  san ka ba sa may tolda?"

"oo!"

"alis ka dyan.  punta ka sa kabilang terminal.  dun tayo."

i thought that the other terminal was far away.  it was just across the street.  i saw kuya al.  "di tayo dyan.  dun tayo sa pang-executive."  when i saw our bus all i could say was "wow!"  it really was a bus for executives.  we rode together and made ourselves comfortable.  however, along the way, i felt uneasy.  it so cold!  jacket's not enough.  one should bring a blanket if he wished to ride that bus again.  good thing kuya al brought one that is big enough for the two of us.

i fell asleep.  the next thing i knew, the sun was already up and i was looking at a vast field.  behind it is the sierra madre.  so beautiful.  i slept again.

when i woke up, we were already at florida bus terminal, tuguegarao!  wow!  it's my first time here, i thought.  a car was waiting for us.  then we drove to fr. rannie's place.

we ate breakfast upon arriving.  kuya immediately took a bath after.  he was assigned to serve at the 8 am mass of fr. rannie.  i was left there watching tv.  by 9 am they went up the convent again.  father has another mass at 9:30.  this time at the cathedral.  so i went with them.  but not to attend mass, but to go around the place.  i needed to buy souvenir and cake.

it only took us 15 minutes to drive from fr. rannie's place to the cathedral.  "be back in an hour.  go to the second floor (of the cathedral's office) if you arrive early.  take care," father said the moment we got off the car.

i looked for the nearest souvenir shop that i could find.  good thing there was one near the cathedral.  i bought 3 keychains.  now, my only problem was to look for goldilocks.  so i asked mr. souvenir vendor for instructions.  "pagdating mo sa kanto kaliwa ka.  tapos pangalawang kanto, kanan."  sounds easy, i thought.  but holy camote!  one kanto is far from another kanto.  i'd be lost i said to myself.  i walked and walked and walked.  i made a turn.  still no sign of goldilocks.  and then lo and behold, there it was, goldilocks, with its miniature sign.  great!  just great.  i entered, bought a cake and then...

oh sh**!  how was i supposed to go back.  ok ok ok.  the streets there were almost the same.  and i could feel eyes were on me.  it was so obvious that i am not from tuguegarao.  i paused.  then walked.  just imagine i am walking backwards.  retrace your steps.  these were my thoughts.  after several minutes of walking and thinking and a few drops of sweat (it was so hot), i found my way.  yes!

the next important event was the celebration of father's silver anniversary.  there was a mass at 5:30, which ended at 7.  then a reception took place at the aquino residence about several kilometers from the parish.  the place was filled with people from the upper middle class to the elite class of the society.  but some were down to earth.  it was a wonderful evening.  lots of laughter.  however i had to leave.  the bus would depart at 9:15.  but it was already 8:30 and the eating had not started yet for there were a few performances prior to it.  when archbishop talamayan said the grace, i was the first one attacked the buffet line.  hahahaha!  i had to or else i'd be stuck in tuguegarao for another day.

kuya al drove me to the terminal.  this time he won't be coming.  but it's ok.  i was with sung, fr. rannie's korean student.

i arrived in manila at 6 am.  i immediately went to my gf's place to take a bath.  i still have work, remember?  hehe.

my tuguegarao adventure ends here.  but as soon as this adventure ended, another began.  but that is time for another blog entry.  =)